I have been a teacher for the better part of my life, and it has been both a rewarding, and at times, frustrating experience. In that sense, it is very similar to being a mother. In both cases, you feel responsible for the child’s development (on different scales) and you rejoice in their successes as well as feeling disappointed with them when they fail. I have always thought that being a professional woman – working outside the home – with all the responsibilities and demands that this involves, has been important for my role as a mother.
It has given me insight into other people’s child-rearing ideas, has given me more opportunities to grow and mature as an individual (not that a stay-at-home mom doesn’t) and has allowed my children to develop as independent individuals because I haven’t hovered over them or given them 100% of my time and attention. It has made me cherish the time we do have together and use it to the best advantage.
The biggest difference I see is probably on the level of emotional attachment. Although you come to care deeply about your students, it is nothing like the all-encompassing love that a mother has for her child. You know that the relationship with your students is temporary, while you hope that the one with your children will last your lifetime.
I think that being a mother has allowed me in my role as a teacher to understand some of the conflicts that arise in the classroom – between students and between the students and me as the teacher. As my own children grew older, it has given me the reassurance that no one stays a teenager forever, that kids will eventually grow up and mature, and appreciate what is around them.
All women face challenges in their careers, being a mother simply adds another dimension to this. There were times when I could not attend my own children’s school or activity performances because there was something equally demanding of my time at work.
I went back to school to finish my formal education when my children were in their teens and still living at home, and this meant that I wasn’t always available for them. But I always felt that they (and my husband of 46 years now) were very supportive of all my endeavors, and they never expressed any resentment towards my working or studying. I think, sometimes, my kids were even proud to point out their mother as a teacher.
To the teachers who are about to become a mother – congratulations! There is nothing in the world that compares to the love you give your child, and the love they give to you (but be prepared to never have a good night’s sleep ever again! The concern for a child’s welfare never ends, no matter how old they get). Feel proud of your work as a teacher, so you can instill in your own children the value of an education, and respect for the people that devote their time providing it.
Barbara Bangle is originally from the United States, but has lived and worked in Mexico for the past 35 years. She holds a Masters of Arts in Education from Universidad de las Americas and a B.A. in English Language Teaching from Thames Valley University. Barbara has a long, successful career in ELT having taught English at all levels and in different contexts, including Teacher Training at the highest levels. She works for Oxford University Press as a freelance academic consultant.